IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE PREVIOUS BLOG ENTRY, STOP NOW! READ The Worst News EVER BEFORE YOU CHECK THIS ONE OUT.
Now that you've read the previous blog entry, here's the version of the text conversation we had earlier this afternoon.
Key:
A=Me, Alycia
G=Girl who is going to make my family's life hard
G: Hey hon...It's me...
A: Hey there, what's up?
G: Can you keep a secret?
A: Totally, what's up?
G:Your uncle and i are done...
A: Done, as in not together?
G: Well i have to let him know my decision in a few days...And just the way im feeling... I dont think its going to get better... I just dont want you and the whole rest of the family to hate me cause it didn't work out between us... I dont know what he is going to say about me..
A: Ok. Well, if you are sure about it then I guess thats what you have to do. You've thought about it for a while, right?
G: Yes i have... I think we have grown apart and we both want different things right now...
A: Ok. Well, I wish you the best then.
G: I do feel really bad cause i know im going to hurt him... Especially after everything he has gone through :(
G: Do you hate me? I dont want the family to hate me.
A: I don't hate you, I'm just worried for him.
A: But I guess what you are doing is the lesser of two evils. Its better to do it now than 5 years down the road.
G: I am too! This wasn't a very easy decision...
G: I still feel bad... He has already been comparing me to his ex wife lately... I dont need him to do anything drastic.
A: We'll keep an eye on him. Just make sure you wont change your mind later. That would make it worse for everybody.
G: Yeah...
So if you want, tell me what you think by leaving a comment. Who do you think the "bad guy" is here? Am I overreacting? Should I tell someone back home? I feel like I should, just so they can be there for my uncle. Please help me make sense of all this!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Worst News EVER
I can't believe what she just told me! And the worst part is I am sworn to secrecy. So where do I go to vent? My blog, of course.
Background Story:
This past summer my uncle got engaged to a girl. She's about 25 years old and he's in the lower thirties. I thought they were almost perfect for each other; they both love snowmobiles and they are both really into agriculture. They got along great.
The Problem:
His girl (soon to be EX-girl) just text me that she and my uncle have been talking about calling it off. She's going to tell him in a few days that they're done. DONE!
My uncle-he's my favorite uncle-has already been through one terrible marriage. (Turns out his then-wife was cheating on him with one of their friends from work. She then left him to live with said "friend" and had "friend's" baby 7 months later. They proceeded through the ugliest divorce known to man in which he had to give her a lot of stuff. One of the things she got was his red hot-rod.) He was really depressed after that. Once he tried to quit smoking, but he gave up on quitting after realizing one of the only things that was keeping him from committing suicide was the nicotine.
But then he met her and things seemed to be better. He seemed happy! But she turned into that jerk who doesn't want our family to hate her because "they want different things now."
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but that is NOT how it is supposed to end. They were going to get married, have their own little farm and raise some kids. Now he's going to end up with a broken heart and end up moving back with my grandparents.
This Sucks:
Why did she have to tell me? Probably because she can trust me to keep a secret, we were kind of close, and I'm two hours away from home, so I can't do anything.
I don't even have the guts to call her names for potentially breaking my uncle's heart and putting him in that depressive state again. She says it was a difficult decision for her to make, but she still lead him on. I don't know what to do.
I just pray that he'll be ok.
Alycia
P.S. Why do I have to be so damn nice all the time?
Background Story:
This past summer my uncle got engaged to a girl. She's about 25 years old and he's in the lower thirties. I thought they were almost perfect for each other; they both love snowmobiles and they are both really into agriculture. They got along great.
The Problem:
His girl (soon to be EX-girl) just text me that she and my uncle have been talking about calling it off. She's going to tell him in a few days that they're done. DONE!
My uncle-he's my favorite uncle-has already been through one terrible marriage. (Turns out his then-wife was cheating on him with one of their friends from work. She then left him to live with said "friend" and had "friend's" baby 7 months later. They proceeded through the ugliest divorce known to man in which he had to give her a lot of stuff. One of the things she got was his red hot-rod.) He was really depressed after that. Once he tried to quit smoking, but he gave up on quitting after realizing one of the only things that was keeping him from committing suicide was the nicotine.
But then he met her and things seemed to be better. He seemed happy! But she turned into that jerk who doesn't want our family to hate her because "they want different things now."
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but that is NOT how it is supposed to end. They were going to get married, have their own little farm and raise some kids. Now he's going to end up with a broken heart and end up moving back with my grandparents.
This Sucks:
Why did she have to tell me? Probably because she can trust me to keep a secret, we were kind of close, and I'm two hours away from home, so I can't do anything.
I don't even have the guts to call her names for potentially breaking my uncle's heart and putting him in that depressive state again. She says it was a difficult decision for her to make, but she still lead him on. I don't know what to do.
I just pray that he'll be ok.
Alycia
P.S. Why do I have to be so damn nice all the time?
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday!
That's right, everybody! It's SATURDAY! One of the best days of the week. The only problem with Saturday is that right now I want to make pancakes. Now, at first glance making pancakes does not seem like much of a delema. I have the mix, I have water, and I have a pan and spattula. No problem!
Wrong. Someone else is using the kitchen! I share the Yon's dorm kitchen with everybody else in Yon's. Sadly, there are homo sapiens making food. And dang does it smell good. But I can't crash their food-making fest. So I'll just keep waiting until they leave. Sigh. I feel like a hyena waiting for the lions to leave the carcass.
Loves and Hugs,
Hyena
Wrong. Someone else is using the kitchen! I share the Yon's dorm kitchen with everybody else in Yon's. Sadly, there are homo sapiens making food. And dang does it smell good. But I can't crash their food-making fest. So I'll just keep waiting until they leave. Sigh. I feel like a hyena waiting for the lions to leave the carcass.
Loves and Hugs,
Hyena
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
What Is Expected
Now that statement/question holds a lot of weight. In this case, it pertains to education. Because I am in school to become a teacher, I am taking a course called School and Society. One of the issues that we are addressing now is the idea of students who differ from you. If you are a teacher, how do you address students who do not come from the same cultural, economic, and social background you do?
That is a big question. Instead of answering that question first, I'd like to tell you a story about my class today. In class, I sat next to a boy named Matt. Matt is a college sophomore as well (all the students taking School and Society are). He attended a private Catholic grade school and upon entering 9th grade he was placed in the public school. This is important. Remember that.
Now, today we were told to work with the person sitting next to us (in my case, Matt) and discuss the following question: "What should you, as teachers, expect from your students?" I told Matt that I would expect students to listen during class, pay attention to what is happening in class, and complete their assignments and try their best. Immediately Matt told me that would not work. He said that in public school many students simply sit in class. Nothing more. And that there was no way I could expect those things from all of my students. He said the only way I could expect all of those things in a classroom was if I was teaching at a small private school. Even then, he said, that would be pushing the limit.
I attended a private grade school (K and 1st grade), was homeschooling for four years, and then attended a private school for grades seven through twelve. I was expected to do many things. I was expected to do my homework. I was expected to attend class. I was expected to raise my hand to answer or ask questions. I was expected to participate in activities. I was expected to try, and to try my hardest. The idea that some students not trying was revolutionary.
I never thought of someone not wanting to be in school. Yes, I understand that going to school is mandatory in the U.S. But I never really considered that someone could just slide under the radar. I immediately felt hopeless. If I cannot expect a few things, that I think are essential, from students what can I expect? At the time it seemed like the answer was nothing.
I left class feeling down and out. I started to ask myself why I wanted to be a teacher in the first place. My first instinct was to call my boyfriend, Matt. (Not the same kid as the one in my education class...I know a great many Matt's.) I told him how I felt and then asked his opinion. Matt told me that yes, in high school many students do not try. He used his brother as an example. He did not try in class or always complete his assignments. He said too, that when he is teaching Physics in the future and a student is not doing well he would try to work with the student. Matt thinks that completing homework is important. At the same time, he understands that not all students are good at homework, like some students are not good at tests.
That got me to thinking. If my students are not trying, or simply not doing well, then what can I do to make the situation better and help them? I have since come to the conclusion that a teacher should expect something from students. In addition, I have also concluded that the students should have expectations for the teacher as well.
Also, if a student is not contributing, well, that is the way it is. But I can change that. I can help students. I need to hold expectations for my students. And if the expectations are not met, I can try my hardest to help. If even then the expectations are not met, so be it. Maybe it would do a student good to fail a class rather than slide under the radar. Isn't that what teachers are really here for? To teach? I will not be a teacher if all that is expected of me is to give students high grades. That is not the point of teaching.
The point is to convey information, ideas, and questions to students in a way that makes sense to their current condition. The point is to engage students in the hunger for learning: to make students think and most importantly, I believe, ask.
I hoped this made sense. But if it did not, so be it. If you want clarification, ask. Asking questions brings greater thoughts into the mind of students. And we are all students, are we not?
May you always learn through the grace of God,
Alycia
That is a big question. Instead of answering that question first, I'd like to tell you a story about my class today. In class, I sat next to a boy named Matt. Matt is a college sophomore as well (all the students taking School and Society are). He attended a private Catholic grade school and upon entering 9th grade he was placed in the public school. This is important. Remember that.
Now, today we were told to work with the person sitting next to us (in my case, Matt) and discuss the following question: "What should you, as teachers, expect from your students?" I told Matt that I would expect students to listen during class, pay attention to what is happening in class, and complete their assignments and try their best. Immediately Matt told me that would not work. He said that in public school many students simply sit in class. Nothing more. And that there was no way I could expect those things from all of my students. He said the only way I could expect all of those things in a classroom was if I was teaching at a small private school. Even then, he said, that would be pushing the limit.
I attended a private grade school (K and 1st grade), was homeschooling for four years, and then attended a private school for grades seven through twelve. I was expected to do many things. I was expected to do my homework. I was expected to attend class. I was expected to raise my hand to answer or ask questions. I was expected to participate in activities. I was expected to try, and to try my hardest. The idea that some students not trying was revolutionary.
 |
| First day of Kindergarten |
 |
| First Day of Second Grade |
 |
| First Day of Seventh Grade |
 |
| High School Graduation |
I never thought of someone not wanting to be in school. Yes, I understand that going to school is mandatory in the U.S. But I never really considered that someone could just slide under the radar. I immediately felt hopeless. If I cannot expect a few things, that I think are essential, from students what can I expect? At the time it seemed like the answer was nothing.
I left class feeling down and out. I started to ask myself why I wanted to be a teacher in the first place. My first instinct was to call my boyfriend, Matt. (Not the same kid as the one in my education class...I know a great many Matt's.) I told him how I felt and then asked his opinion. Matt told me that yes, in high school many students do not try. He used his brother as an example. He did not try in class or always complete his assignments. He said too, that when he is teaching Physics in the future and a student is not doing well he would try to work with the student. Matt thinks that completing homework is important. At the same time, he understands that not all students are good at homework, like some students are not good at tests.
That got me to thinking. If my students are not trying, or simply not doing well, then what can I do to make the situation better and help them? I have since come to the conclusion that a teacher should expect something from students. In addition, I have also concluded that the students should have expectations for the teacher as well.
Also, if a student is not contributing, well, that is the way it is. But I can change that. I can help students. I need to hold expectations for my students. And if the expectations are not met, I can try my hardest to help. If even then the expectations are not met, so be it. Maybe it would do a student good to fail a class rather than slide under the radar. Isn't that what teachers are really here for? To teach? I will not be a teacher if all that is expected of me is to give students high grades. That is not the point of teaching.
The point is to convey information, ideas, and questions to students in a way that makes sense to their current condition. The point is to engage students in the hunger for learning: to make students think and most importantly, I believe, ask.
I hoped this made sense. But if it did not, so be it. If you want clarification, ask. Asking questions brings greater thoughts into the mind of students. And we are all students, are we not?
May you always learn through the grace of God,
Alycia
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Education Course
I am currently taking an education course at SMU called School and Society in conjunction with a drug abuse awareness course. We are currently focusing on the politics of education. One of the major topics in the education book we are using is the Civil Rights Movement and cultural teaching.
The Civil Rights Movement excerpts in our book have concentrations on standing up for personal beliefs. Many of the teachers in the excerpts are white and male teaching in lower-income African American schools.
It got me to thinking about my own approach to teaching. To be honest, when I imagined myself five or six years from now, I am teaching in front of a small class of predominantly white students in a Catholic private school. That is what I know. I attended a private school from Kindergarten and first grade. Then I attended a public school in second grade. It was the only public school I have ever attended. Then I was home-schooled by my mom third grade through sixth grade. After that I was a student at Bethlehem Academy for seventh grade through my Senior year. Now I am attending Saint Mary's University.
All of the schools I have been enrolled in (or are currently enrolled in) are filled with middle class white students. Except B.A. There, we had some Hispanic and African American students. I never thought of teaching in an inner-city school, or lower income community. Never crossed my mind. Maybe once, but if it did I didn't think about it very long.
Now I am starting to rethink my approach to teaching. In the most recent after-college future, I won't be teaching at a private school. I'll probably be teaching at a Naval base school. Yes, Matt has decided, after four years of deliberation, that he wants to be in the Navy. The plan is: after we get married we go the the naval base in Illinois. Then I'll follow him wherever he goes.
Lord,
May you grant me the patience and determination to work with students of all cultural backgrounds. Help me to be the best teacher I can be. Let me remember that no matter what happens, Thy will be done.
Amen.
So now I need to think about teaching different children. Not the ones I have been surrounded by. Students who are very different from me; culturally, mentally, and socially. If anyone has any advice for a very (I'll admit it) White Midwestern female future teacher, do not hesitate. :)
Well, I should really start working on homework right now. Sigh. Wish me luck.
Loves and Hugs,
Alycia
The Civil Rights Movement excerpts in our book have concentrations on standing up for personal beliefs. Many of the teachers in the excerpts are white and male teaching in lower-income African American schools.
It got me to thinking about my own approach to teaching. To be honest, when I imagined myself five or six years from now, I am teaching in front of a small class of predominantly white students in a Catholic private school. That is what I know. I attended a private school from Kindergarten and first grade. Then I attended a public school in second grade. It was the only public school I have ever attended. Then I was home-schooled by my mom third grade through sixth grade. After that I was a student at Bethlehem Academy for seventh grade through my Senior year. Now I am attending Saint Mary's University.
All of the schools I have been enrolled in (or are currently enrolled in) are filled with middle class white students. Except B.A. There, we had some Hispanic and African American students. I never thought of teaching in an inner-city school, or lower income community. Never crossed my mind. Maybe once, but if it did I didn't think about it very long.
Now I am starting to rethink my approach to teaching. In the most recent after-college future, I won't be teaching at a private school. I'll probably be teaching at a Naval base school. Yes, Matt has decided, after four years of deliberation, that he wants to be in the Navy. The plan is: after we get married we go the the naval base in Illinois. Then I'll follow him wherever he goes.
Lord,
May you grant me the patience and determination to work with students of all cultural backgrounds. Help me to be the best teacher I can be. Let me remember that no matter what happens, Thy will be done.
Amen.
So now I need to think about teaching different children. Not the ones I have been surrounded by. Students who are very different from me; culturally, mentally, and socially. If anyone has any advice for a very (I'll admit it) White Midwestern female future teacher, do not hesitate. :)
Well, I should really start working on homework right now. Sigh. Wish me luck.
Loves and Hugs,
Alycia
Puppies!
I got to visit Matt this weekend! It was fun.
On Saturday we went with Ben & Mary, Eric & Jessie, and Kevin (yep, Kevin was the 'seventh wheel,' poor Kevin) to a corn maze just outside of Menomonie. It was really fun. First, we drove up to the farm, got out of the car, and were greeted by three of the sweetest dogs (besides Matt's, of course). They were Great Pyrenees; large, white dogs with a calm temperament. There was ...Bruno, I think that was his name, the dad; Peanut, the mom; and the only pup they kept from the spring litter, Deedee, a sweet young girl. I learned three things about the Great Pomeranian breed from the owners and runners of the corn maze.
Great Pyrenees Facts:
1. They are very calm dogs, even as puppies. They are perfectly happy to lolly-gag around.
2. If you pet one and stop petting it, the dog will lift one of his or her's front paws and whack you with it. It's genetic. Strange, eh?
3. The two of you (you and the dog), can come nose to nose and he will not lick you. This, too, is genetic! I for one am not a dog kissing fan, so this fact makes me very, very, very happy.
4. They're essentially guard dogs. They will protect any animal (or human, for that matter) that they are raised with.
Ok, so that came out to four fun facts about the breed. But the facts are all pretty cool, huh???
One other fact I forgot about: on their hind legs there are an additional two "toes." The two extra toes are located on the back of their heels. Odd, but neat.
So that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. ;-)
Peace and God Bless,
Live Jesus in our hearts forever,
Alycia
On Saturday we went with Ben & Mary, Eric & Jessie, and Kevin (yep, Kevin was the 'seventh wheel,' poor Kevin) to a corn maze just outside of Menomonie. It was really fun. First, we drove up to the farm, got out of the car, and were greeted by three of the sweetest dogs (besides Matt's, of course). They were Great Pyrenees; large, white dogs with a calm temperament. There was ...Bruno, I think that was his name, the dad; Peanut, the mom; and the only pup they kept from the spring litter, Deedee, a sweet young girl. I learned three things about the Great Pomeranian breed from the owners and runners of the corn maze.
Great Pyrenees Facts:
1. They are very calm dogs, even as puppies. They are perfectly happy to lolly-gag around.
2. If you pet one and stop petting it, the dog will lift one of his or her's front paws and whack you with it. It's genetic. Strange, eh?
3. The two of you (you and the dog), can come nose to nose and he will not lick you. This, too, is genetic! I for one am not a dog kissing fan, so this fact makes me very, very, very happy.
4. They're essentially guard dogs. They will protect any animal (or human, for that matter) that they are raised with.
Ok, so that came out to four fun facts about the breed. But the facts are all pretty cool, huh???
One other fact I forgot about: on their hind legs there are an additional two "toes." The two extra toes are located on the back of their heels. Odd, but neat.
So that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. ;-)
Peace and God Bless,
Live Jesus in our hearts forever,
Alycia
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I Believe....
In an Education course I had yesterday, we listed to a radio edit. On a radio show called "I Believe," a kindergartner, Tarak McLain shared 30 of his beliefs. His beliefs were for a special event in kindergarten, the 100th day of school. Most kids bring a hundred pennies or cotton balls. This boy brought a list of 100 beliefs.
At first I thought it was just a cute little diddly. But Tarak is a really deep kid. He has the capacity for understanding so many things that I never even imagined of in Kindergarten.
So, inspired by Tarak's list, I decided to make one of my own.
I Believe...
1.That as big as this universe is, and how little we may seem, God put us here for a reason.
2.We should be able to walk down the sidewalk singing at the top of our lungs...and NOT get strange looks.
3.That the trust of a child should be our model.
4.I need to slow down. You know, smell the roses.
5.I have found the love of my life, my one and only.
6.Sadness and pain have a purpose.
7.The only valid role models should be Jesus and the saints.
8.We should understand that we're not perfect. We'll never be perfect.
9.That family should play a more important part in society than it does now.
10.That parents should play a key role in their childrens education.
11.A friend is one of the best gifts you can get.
12.Thunderstorms are the best kind of symphony.
13.We should hug more.
14.We wont be able to save the world from wars, because this world and the people in it are imperfect.
15.That doesn't mean we should stop trying.
16.True love does not mean "never having saying you're sorry."
17. True love is the exact opposite.
18. We should all stop being cosmopolitan and start focusing on family.
19.Teachers aren't thanked enough for the work they do.
20.In the arms of my man, I feel truly blessed and loved.
So yeah. There's my list. I hope you appreciate it. If you don't...sucks for you, I guess. :-)
Well, I must be going now. I have Education homework to tend to.
See ya, homies!
Alycia
At first I thought it was just a cute little diddly. But Tarak is a really deep kid. He has the capacity for understanding so many things that I never even imagined of in Kindergarten.
So, inspired by Tarak's list, I decided to make one of my own.
I Believe...
1.That as big as this universe is, and how little we may seem, God put us here for a reason.
2.We should be able to walk down the sidewalk singing at the top of our lungs...and NOT get strange looks.
3.That the trust of a child should be our model.
4.I need to slow down. You know, smell the roses.
5.I have found the love of my life, my one and only.
6.Sadness and pain have a purpose.
7.The only valid role models should be Jesus and the saints.
8.We should understand that we're not perfect. We'll never be perfect.
9.That family should play a more important part in society than it does now.
10.That parents should play a key role in their childrens education.
11.A friend is one of the best gifts you can get.
12.Thunderstorms are the best kind of symphony.
13.We should hug more.
14.We wont be able to save the world from wars, because this world and the people in it are imperfect.
15.That doesn't mean we should stop trying.
16.True love does not mean "never having saying you're sorry."
17. True love is the exact opposite.
18. We should all stop being cosmopolitan and start focusing on family.
19.Teachers aren't thanked enough for the work they do.
20.In the arms of my man, I feel truly blessed and loved.
So yeah. There's my list. I hope you appreciate it. If you don't...sucks for you, I guess. :-)
Well, I must be going now. I have Education homework to tend to.
See ya, homies!
Alycia
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